Well, we’re here…two weeks away from my due date and I keep wondering where the past several months have gone. There were days I thought my due date would never come (mostly when I was nauseous or throwing up) and then there are these current days where I look back in amazement at how fast this pregnancy has gone! I’m still feeling pretty good for the most part; sleeping is a little more challenging and I feel like I’m constantly going to the bathroom, but overall I’m not doing too bad.
The other night James and I were laying in bed laughing and talking, enjoying our time together before we called it a night and in a sudden wave of emotion, the tears started. I looked at James and said, “these are our last few weeks just you and me.” James, being the sensitive man that he is, stroked my hair, held me tight, looked into my eyes and said, “it is, but we are getting ready to add a little more love to our family.”
I am truly so excited for this new season of life; I’ve been waiting since I was a little girl to be a mom and now I’m just weeks (or days) away from that happening! But at the same time, for the past 7 1/2 years, it’s been just him and I. We’ve had years to grow together, to walk through the deep valleys of addiction and high mountains of victory and healing together. Years of sitting together laughing till we were in tears, staying up late eating ice cream and watching Netflix, having last minute dates together, and staying out late with friends playing cards or simply talking.
As hard as these past 7 1/2 years have been, they have been SO good, so rewarding, so fulfilling, so healing, so memorable. And now, we’re entering into a season of life where things are going to change…in the best way possible, of course! It’s a bitter sweet change for me. I’m saying goodbye to what I’ve known for the past several years of my life of just being “Autumn and James” and saying hello to “the Carton family”.
I’m being more intentional about soaking in these last couple weeks of enjoying time with just my husband. Just the other night we danced in the kitchen before he headed out the door and we held each other tightly, gently kissing and giggling like young high school kids in love, cherishing a moment that was so tender and sweet. It’s in these last couple weeks that I wholeheartedly look forward to making dinner together or hanging pictures up in the nursery, running errands together, or talking in the dark of the night about what our life is getting ready to look like and reminiscing of years past. I know we will still have time just him and I, but it’ll just look a little different with adding babies.
As we close this chapter in life, we both are cherishing our quality time together and yet anxiously awaiting our sweet baby girls’ arrival and with that, anticipating all the joy and love we are getting ready to experience, not only for this new little human, but for each other.