love and marriage //

By July 18, 2014 Marriage + Relationships

a few weeks ago, james and i were in our bedroom talking about life. i was laying on our bed in my pajamas, while james was walking around putting stuff away and messing around with our pup. in the middle of our conversation i looked at him and said, “is it weird to you that we’re married?” he chuckled and responded, “no! is it weird for you?” i laughed and explained that even though we had been married for (at the time) almost two years, it was still so weird to me that i was living in a house, with a man and a dog, laying in bed in my pajamas just chatting away about our future.

i don’t know if you have ever experienced this, but it hits me every so often that i am married forever to this man named james who i met one afternoon at the olive garden. i’ve imagined my whole life being a wife and it’s happening, right here, right now. some days it feels like i’m playing house, you know, putting on an apron, turning the record player on, and making dinner for my husband.

and i love it.

i love knowing that the lord knew exactly the right man for me. he knew that he wasn’t in california and that i wouldn’t meet my husband in church (like i always thought i would). he knew the personality and character of the man i needed to help challenge me and encourage me.

i love that we get to do everyday, messy, wonderful life together as a team; fighting for one another, cheering each other on, encouraging each other along the way. i love that we get to laugh with and at each other. i love that we’re each others best friend. i love that life with my husband is a journey, not a destination (thanks aerosmith). there isn’t a plateau to which i or any wife can stand on top of, raising her arms to the world exclaiming, “i made it! i reached my destination in my marriage!” there will always be something new to learn, there will always be more to gain, and there will always be plenty of opportunities for new experiences.

i knew that marriage was going to be hard at times, but what i didn’t understand was how good it was going to be until i started on this journey. in our society today, people are so quick to give marriage up for their own selfish desires, but yet i look around and see that when you run to satisfy your own wants, you miss out on growth opportunities and moments that push you to become a stronger spouse and ultimately a better person.

all the hardships we’ve had to walk through in dating, engagement, and marriage have all been worth it to look into james’ eyes and know deep down in my soul that this is the man i want to spend everyday with for the rest of my life.

marriage is so good. it’s worth every argument and frustration. remember to pray together lots and extend a lot of grace to each other.

“you come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.” -sam keen

-a

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it’s a wednesday //

By July 16, 2014 Months + Seasons

 

it’s a rainy wednesday night and i’m sitting in the basement drinking chai tea with my husband listening to a spotify mix that is actually really great. it’s been a while since i’ve sat down to write out what’s been on my heart and mind as of late. i feel like i’ve had writer’s block and haven’t been able to formulate a really great post, even though there is a lot happening in life for the hubs and i. my mind is everywhere and nowhere at the same time, my thoughts are scattered, my emotions are up and down, the lord is doing work in both of us, revealing layers of life stuff we need to work through and grow in, yet, i still have no idea what to write about. actually, i have lots of ideas, but the energy to put my thoughts into written words has been missing.

i’ve had to work through a lot of fears lately…fears about our blog and the direction we feel called to take it. fears about not being a good enough writer. fears about not being creative enough to help my husband with our business. fears and scars with being back in a church with leadership that has taken time to invest in us. i didn’t realize how many painful memories i had stuffed down deep in my heart regarding the last church we were involved with until recently. funny how i hit this place in life where i felt like i had dealt with and uncovered things from my past and different fears but soon realized that there is even more healing for my spirit and soul. it’s not a fun journey, but i know in the long run this is going to be a valuable season.

i think all of the emotions i’m working through has caused me to subconsciously not want to write, mostly because being vulnerable about anything other than sex addiction is scary. weird, i know. i’ve become so used to writing about the addiction and sex that i’ve almost forgotten how to write about other happenings in life. lately i have become wrapped up in the thought that our blog is based solely on sex addiction, which it is and it’s not all at the same time. and i’ve come to this conclusion that if i write about anything other than sex addiction, no one will read our blog. don’t get me wrong, the addiction is a huge part of our story, but there are other parts to our story as well. because i started thinking that our blog has to be about marriage, sex, addiction, or porn only, i put writing on the back-burner. kinda silly when i think about it because in reality this is my small space in a big internet world for me to share my heart; the good, the bad, the fears, and the joys. and let’s be honest, i love writing…it’s how i process through things.

maybe i should have made this one of my july goals - to write more consistently about whatever is on my heart and what the lord is doing in life because frankly, he’s doing a lot! so in the case of me writing about something other than the addiction or sex, know that it’s cause there are lots of other things on my heart and mind!

that’s all i have for tonight…a modge podge of thoughts that probably don’t make sense to any one but me.

-a

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not goodbye, just see ya later //

By July 11, 2014 Family + Friends

i’ve been thinking about sitting down to write this post for weeks now, but i haven’t had the courage to do so. i knew that once i got started, i’d have a hard time seeing the screen through all the tears.

several weeks ago james and i got news that our dear friends tyler and kaci were moving away to tennessee. tyler got an amazing job offer and they would be moving very close to kaci’s family (which kaci has been wanting to be close to family for a while).

i honestly didn’t believe them when i found out. i thought it was a mean joke they were playing…but soon enough i realized it was true. the day i found out, i was at work and struggled to hold back tears the entire afternoon. as soon as i got home, i literally laid on our bedroom floor and wept….big, fat tears and kept telling james, “i don’t want our friends to move.”

you see, tyler and kaci have played a HUGE role in james and i’s lives the past 7 years. they have been there for both of us through every season of life, the good and the bad. kaci was the first girl friend i met after moving out here and i knew as soon as i met her that she would be a forever friend. she was the first one i called when i found porn on james’ computer, she was always one of the first to know when james and i would break up or get back together, she walked through my parents divorce with me, she stood by my side as one of my matrons of honor in our wedding, and she was the first one i called when i found out that james was talking to another woman after we got married.

kaci has been a voice of wisdom, strength, grace, and love throughout the years. she has prayed for and over me more times than i can count. she has welcomed me into their home late a night and sat on the couch with me as i cried my eyes out. tyler and kaci both have seen james and i argue and have guided us through a lot of the mountains we faced in our relationship. they have been faithful and consistent friends through every high and every low. they also make us laugh all.the.time!

to see them leave just tears us apart.

friends,
james and i are so thankful for you. we don’t want to see you go, but we know that the Lord has some amazing things in store for your family. we will never forget the incredible memories we have created with you over these past 7 years. some of our favorite memories are playing spades and eating food with you every sunday night when we were dating, going backpacking together (i’m still not ready to attempt backpacking again…thanks tyler!), worshipping with you guys in church, doing small groups and bible studies together, flying to tennessee to be apart of your guys’ wedding, staying the night with kaci while tyler would go away hunting, shopping with kaci on a weekly basis (how i miss the days of you telling me i don’t need anymore pajamas or sweats), dancing at weddings, my (autumn) 21st birthday (even though i don’t remember too much, haha), birthday celebrations, and rejoicing with you as you welcomed your daughters into this world. i could write on and on about everything we’ve done together, but you get the general idea…we’ve lived a lot of life together and we wouldn’t change it for the world.

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thank you both for being examples to us of how to be consistent friends and how to love when it’s hard. thank you for standing with us through all the junk and for not leaving us when we made really bad choices. you two are so loyal, graceful, wise, hilarious friends that james and i have learned so much from. i don’t say this lightly, but you both are two of the best friends we could’ve asked for.

kaci - i wasn’t used to having close girlfriendships, but when you entered my life, it turned everything upside down (in the best way possible). you were one of the first girlfriends that i ever wholeheartedly trusted and because of your example of faithfulness and trustworthiness, i so desire to be that type of friend to others. thank you for opening my eyes to how amazing girlfriendships are and how to be steady through different seasons of life. life has been so different since james and i have gone to a different church and you’ve become a mom, but just knowing that you’re here in town for me to cry or laugh with at any time, is the most comforting thing. i may not be able to drive to your house anymore, but i will certainly be calling you. you are going to be missed more than i could ever say or write down in words and i truly do hope that the Lord brings you guys back to Colorado. i need my friend around when i have babies! thank you for your friendship, your wisdom, your hugs, and for making me laugh when no one else could. i am forever grateful for you!

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we love you guys so much and those beautiful babies of yours! you better bet your bottom that we’ll be making a trip out to see you very soon.
j + a

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Lovely Wife //

By July 8, 2014 Marriage + Relationships, Months + Seasons
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As I sit here and think about how blessed I am to have such an amazing partner & best friend, I’m drawn back to the way she loves, how much she loves. I see the love in her that I know God has for us, for me…. relentless. Her relentless pursuit and love for me is something that I am still realizing every day, in all the little things she does. Her ferocity and fierceness has made a way for me to be able to come out of darkness and in to wholeness…. into my Father’s love & wholeness.

  How do I put into words a gratitude for all that you’ve done? I sit here in awe and adoration of who you are, how strong & courageous you are. I know you don’t always see it, but I do and I am incredibly thankful and humbled that God has blessed ME with your love that I am so undeserving of. So today as we look back at 2 years of marriage, I see your quiet strength, your unwavering faith and your love… and I am thankful, my heart is overwhelmed with gratitude and love for you. I love you and am so thankful I get to walk this life with such an amazing woman. You’re beautiful.

-Husband

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july goals…because i need some //

By July 1, 2014 Inspiration

at the beginning of every new year i sit down with a pad of paper and think about all the things i want to accomplish for that year. i think of big goals and small, silly and meaningful. however by the time march comes, i seem to lose track of those goals and then by the time december rolls around, i realize, “dang…i didn’t accomplish anything i wanted to!”

well, friends, i am here today to try and change that.

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i came across a really great blog through instagram called the tiny twig and every month hayley sets out to accomplish a few goals. whether it be reading a couple books, decorating a specific part of the house, or completing an art project, she writes down 3-5 goals and proceeds to complete them all in a matter of 30 days (or however many days there are for that month). what i love most is that she calls this monthly series, “goals with grace” meaning that if you don’t accomplish them, that’s perfectly okay! just try at ‘em again the next month.
i like this. and it’s something i can do!

i wanted to start at the beginning of the month with 4 goals that are realistic. that’s the key word right there, “realistic”.

so for the month of july, here are the goals i am setting out to complete:

1) read 2 books
specifically vintage jesus and a loving life. two books that were introduced to james and i by our dear friend chris.

2) 1 hour of no screen time a day
guys, i sit in front of a computer all day long and at the end of the day my eyes feel like they’re going to fall out of my head. i’m also slightly addicted to instagram and check it at least every hour. my eyes and brain need a daily break from the internet and so does my heart. this hour would be a great time to read. see…i already have a plan to kill two birds with one stone!

3) date night 1 night a week
if you didn’t know, james and i started a business in january and ever since then, money has been really tight. we have opted to stay home rather than go out and to not plan any vacations or dates cause we simply can’t afford it. but i’m seeing how not getting that quality time away with my husband is hindering to our relationship. he’s my best friend and we need to spend time together…out of the house. so, date nights might mean hiking with our pup, or going to a really cheap baseball game…but no matter what it is, i’m excited to just spend time with my man.

4) workout 3 days a week
i’m already laughing at this one. working out sounds SO great in my head, but it’s really not a priority to me. it’s time consuming and i don’t really like it, but it’s time to change that. i’ve been saying “it’s time” since january…but i really mean it this time. it might happen only once a week or maybe even just twice for the whole month, but i’m going to try my hardest!

next month, when i set out to accomplish more goals, i will do an update on how the month of july went. i’m hoping to have great news about all my goals, ha!

happy july 1st!
-a

The Tiny Twig

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my dad //

By June 20, 2014 Family + Friends

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yeah, i’m a little behind on the father’s day post, but that’s okay, right?

last sunday was father’s day. i love father’s day. probably because i have been blessed with one incredible man as my father…or as i like to call him…my dad.

ever since i was a little girl, i have been a daddy’s girl and throughout the years, our relationship has grown deeper than i could ever have imagined. he has been a steady rock through all seasons of life, full of grace, wisdom, unconditional love, and cheap jokes! yes, he drives me nuts at times, but don’t all parents do that?

one of my very favorite moments with my dad was about a month or two before i was to get married. james and i had moved all my stuff into the basement apartment we were going to live in and my dad was staying with friends while he was out here visiting for a weekend. one evening, dad came over to see our little space and talk about some wedding details. one of the things that we hadn’t discussed yet was the father-daughter dance. he asked me what song i had picked and i told him, “my girl by the temptations!” i had dreamed of that song being in my wedding ever since i had first seen the movie father of the bride (one of my favorites!). i love the way that movie depicts a father-daughter relationship; it makes me cry every time!

my dad responded with, “i’m not really good at dancing, should we practice?” so i grabbed my computer and turned the song on.

there in the quiet of the basement, my dad and i started dancing and it took everything in me to hold back tears. in that very short moment of time, i saw my relationship with my dad flash before my eyes…from when he taught me how to drive my pink barbie car around our neighborhood when i was 3, to showing me how to hit and catch baseballs, to staying up late with me teaching me math and economics, to teaching me how to change the tires on my car and how to shoot a gun. in my early adulthood, he showed me what grace was and how to love a person even though it felt as though they were pulling the rug out from underneath you. even when he didn’t know i was watching him, he showed me things about life and faith…like how every night before bed, while eating his bowl of cereal, he would read his Bible, or right after he wrote the tithe check on Sunday mornings, he would spend time praying over it that the Lord would use our money to help the local church and more importantly, others.
it hit me how amazing my dad was and how blessed i was to have a dad that cared so much for his daughter. he was getting ready to marry me off and entrusting another man with a lifetime of taking care of me. i don’t know what was going through his mind in that moment, but all i could think about what how thankful i was.

my dad.
a man of great faith, a faithful friend, a loving man who puts his kids above anyone on this earth, sacrificial, tender-hearted, and reliable.

i am so thankful to have him as my dad. forever.

dad, if you’re reading this day, know that i love you very much.

-a

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green littles //

By June 13, 2014 Inspiration

Gardening is no joke. I don’t even think I can call myself a ‘gardener’ because I have no idea what I’m doing – I just water little green things and hope they grow. As I water my plants in the mornings, I like to think of all the ways that gardening parallels real life. Here are a few random thoughts.

I pick the weeds and thin out the plants.
You are supposed to thin them out, which means killing some of its own little brother and sister plants that are crowding in. It seems in my life that there are seasons of refining where good and bad things get taken away and I am able to eventually grow more, but the ‘thinning’ is painful.

 It takes great patience.
Once seeds are planted, there are no signs of life for a couple weeks or even months. Things that I value are worth waiting for and working for. There is no instant gratification in walking out faith. In a world where impatience is the norm, I find myself being demanding and frustrated at even little things. I am thankful for a simple daily thing to teach me patience – the art of waiting.

 I don’t see what is going on underneath the surface.
The roots are the stabilizing factor of the plant and the deeper they go, the better the plant. Even though I can’t see the roots, they are there growing daily, from sun and water. Most of the time, what we see in others and even ourselves is not actually what is going on. It takes a lot of energy and humility to be fully known and to recognize the deep parts of myself and others.

 There is so much hope.
Though it seems small and insignificant, I find so much hope in little, green life springing up. I am surrounded by situations where there is much cause for despair, but really in Christ there is always hope!

 -a

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saying no to “i can’t” //

By June 5, 2014 Inspiration

have you ever felt called to something that you didn’t feel equipped for? i certainly have, in fact i feel that way today. the past year has been a crazy roller coaster of “why?”, “what if?” and “why me?”. uncertainty is my constant companion. i feel like a kid on a high school track team that suddenly was thrust into the olympics. i feel like i’m in way over my head. it’s weird to say that God called me to minister to the hearts of women who have a husband addicted to sex, but He did. this is not something that i would have ever chosen for myself. if you had told me just 7 years ago that i would meet my husband at the olive garden, that we would date for 4 1/2 years, struggle with sex, that he would be an addict, break my heart and my trust, but then the Lord would turn it all around for His glory and i would blog about sex addiction…i would have laughed at you. literally.
you see, i’m not a bold person. it’s not my strong suit. i take the safe roads, the ones where i know i can and will succeed. this is definitely not that road. but apparently, the Lord had other plans for my life.

it’s good to know i’m not the only one who has felt this way. the great leader of the israelites, moses, was in a similar situation back in the day. God showed up in a burning bush and called him to somehow lead His people out slavery in egypt (the most powerful empire at the time) and across a dessert to the land He promised. it would have to be a miracle. no biggie, right? so what did moses do? he basically said, “um God, i’m pretty sure you have the wrong person. don’t you know who i am? i can’t speak well. i’m a run-away. i’m not a leader. i’m not good enough. i just can’t.” these days i feel a lot like moses standing in from of the great expanse of the red sea. why would He ever call me to this? how did this become my ministry? why sex addiction? often times i look at the vastness before me and tell God, “i’m too young. i’ve only been married for two years (in july). i’m not the best writer. i’m more of a quieter soul and not charismatic. i hate speaking in front of people and what if you lead me in that direction. i’m not ready. i’m not good enough. i can’t do it.”

but like in the story of moses, none of it matters one bit.

a good friend reminded me just last month that God doesn’t call the equipped, He equips the called. i never really knew what the meant…but i am learning now. the psalmist says, “this i know, that God is for me.” (Ps. 56:9b) i know He has led me to this place. i may not be sure what His plans are or where He is leading, but i do know that He will use both james and i. so who am i to say “God, i can’t” when He says “i know child, but i can”?

this past sunday, our pastor had the entire congregation say a prayer over our lives breaking all the lies and limitations we have had spoken over us or that we have spoken over ourselves. so many people say, “i could never do that” or “i can’t do that”. i know i have…many times over. so this is what we prayed:
“i repent for speaking things over my life that were out of alignment and out of agreement with what God is speaking and i break my limiting confession that there are things that you (Lord) have called me to do that i have said, “i cannot do”. i repent of that and i renounce those words.” (thanks to technology i was able to listen to the message again and repeat that prayer!)

so, my friends, i’m saying no to “i can’t” and saying yes to God’s will, whatever that may be. i am confessing that my “why”, “what if”, and “why me” as doubt in my Master. it must go. i have to surrender my fear that i am not “good enough” to write about and to talk to men and women about addiction. if this is God’s will, so be it. my God has called me, so i will move ahead with His boldness. i will be diligent, trusting that He will give me what i need in due time. i will not try to make things happen, but trust His leadership. in my humanity i will fail, but i will choose to let it teach me to rely more fully on Him. in everything He can receive glory.

what is He calling you to friends? what are you saying “i can’t” to in life? He is sufficient. His ways are perfect. let’s travel His road together.

xoxo, autumn

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a time away //

By June 3, 2014 Travels + Adventures

it feels like a long time since i’ve sat here and blogged. two weeks ago i was working overtime (10 hour days) and didn’t have the energy to write. it was a really rough week as i was overly tired, super grumpy, and of course it all came out on james at the end of the day. so needless to say, james and i didn’t get along very well. i am so thankful for a husband who is so sweet to me when i am acting like a jerk. he blesses me and loves me so well in my weakness.

last week we were gone on a family vacation with my dad, grandma, and brother. we ventured to the beautiful states of wisconsin and minnesota! it had been many years since grandma got to go to wisconsin to see her sister and brother-in-law and all their kids and dad hadn’t been back to minnesota since he was a teenager. my brother, james, and i had never been, so it was really great to get away, see new parts of the U.S., reminisce with grandma, and meet the family.

wisconsin was absolutely gorgeous! i fell in love with the rolling green hills, the tall birch trees, the lakes, the red barns, the wild flowers, and all the gardens. my great aunt barb and her husband, larry, live off the land; they grow their own fruits and veggies, kill their own meat, and make homemade maple syrup straight from the maple tress (and it was so yummy!). they live on 40 acres and own another 165 in a very tiny town called bruce with a population of 720 people. we got to go 4-wheeling through the mud, bugs, and trees. although we got eaten alive by the mosquitos and wood ticks, it was so much fun! we also got to shoot a black powder rifle and pistol. the boys faces’ lit up when they had those guns in their hands. we stayed up late laughing every night, shared stories, ate a ton of food, and took a lot of pictures.

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larry

me shooting 2

tanner shooting

james shooting

dad shooting

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the fam

after spending three days in wisconsin, we drove 4 hours to grand rapids, minnesota…the city where my grandma grew up! we got to meet a couple other relatives there, but we mostly drove around town to see where grandma went to school, the house her and my grandpa first bought when they got married, the bakery where she used to work, and the house that judy garland grew up in. it was so fun to see where grandma grew up and hear stories of her life as a little girl. our last day in minnesota was spent at the mall of america! grandma rested at the hotel while the 4 of us walked the entire mall. it really is a huge place to shop with hundreds of stores. good thing we don’t have a lot of money to spend, otherwise i would’ve hit the sales for sure, ha! that night we spent some time in the hotel hot tub relaxing and then we all went to bed early.

minnesota
grandma

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it wasn’t the most restful vacation, but it was much needed time away. i didn’t realize how busy james and i had been the past several months between our business, my job at young life, getting involved in church, and spending time with our community. it was so refreshing to be in open space away from civilization with little phone service and being intentional about not getting on social media “just because”. it went by too quick, but it’s nice being home! we got home friday evening and had the weekend to catch up on rest…and it was wonderful.
in the words of william wordsworth, “rest and be thankful.”

xoxo, autumn

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what repercussions? //

By May 13, 2014 Addiction + Healing

Perhaps your sin has just been discovered. Perhaps you’ve finally reached a point of coming out with it. Having those deep dark areas of your life brought to light is one of the more humiliating and shameful things you’ll probably ever do in life. Sure, I talk about freedom that comes with sharing your sin, but when does that come? It certainly doesn’t come when your sin is first outed. All you know in that moment is dread and you fear that your wife or significant other will leave you. You’ll face the fear that this thing you’ve been hiding and wish no one to discover is now being known and fear that you’re not the man that you’ve been portraying to the world and that somehow with the truth being discovered that you’re now less of a man.

I know when my wife discovered the things I was wanting to hide in a deep dark crevice and never surface again, I felt like the scum of the earth. Honestly, there were brief moments of just wanting to end my life because of the shame. Shame and honor are a very real thing to a man and when he’s left without this portrait that he’s built, it may be the lowest he’s ever felt. DO NOT DESPAIR. I know it feels like the end of the world, I get it, it felt like the end of the world to me… like something I would never recover from and I would be eternally bound to this shame…but you can’t stay there. In the coming weeks and months you may want to go back to that shame, your spouse might even make comments that make you run back there from time to time, but you can’t stay there.

It’s only natural that after things come out that you’re going to want to move on, go through the motions, ask forgiveness and do anything you can to get things back to “normal”. Not everyone wants to be reminded of what just came out and take long periods of time to dwell on what they’ve done and how it’s actually effected them and those they love. There will be times when you don’t really understand why or how your significant other or spouse is STILL hung up on it. Why do they keep going back to it? Can’t they just forgive you and pick things up where they were? In short, no. It’s an unrealistic idea to have and it’s an unrealistic expectation to put on them. In their eyes, you’ve betrayed them. You’ve betrayed the idea that they were the only one you saw. In reality, you have betrayed them and that’s not to be taken as lightly as we want it to be treated. This is what Jesus says about lust in Matthew 5:27-28  “You have heard that it was said, ‘YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY’; but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

Let that marinate for a minute.
I don’t mean to rub your nose in it or prolong your stay in shame, but this is a big deal. You may have read our blog and thought to yourself, “Self, I don’t have a sexual addiction… I don’t need to get help, I only look and masterbate every now and again”. Based on that verse, you’ve just committed adultery. Deny it, say it’s not the same. I did. I justified it. So when your wife or significant other feels betrayed, they have every right to feel that. They have every right to be mad and you need to own it and have grace as their anger comes out. It will come out of the blue. It will come when you’re getting along. It will come when you’re not. But you have to prepare yourself ahead of time. Be committed to stand, to be courageous in the midst of all the hurtful things that may or may not come out of her mouth.

Do NOT retaliate. Everything inside you will want to fight back when they are tearing you down. As they are verbally processing and you’re feeling degraded, remember that you have earned this. We’ve had this idea that in our sin and in our secrets we could do what we want and there are no consequences. Now that the consequences are here, we feel that they are here unjustly. We’ve gone so long with our sin, without any backlash, that we no longer expect it. So now when the repercussions hit, we don’t understand because we’ve been trained that there shouldn’t be any negatives associated with our sin. This is a falsehood that we have taught ourselves and we need to move beyond it. It is not her fault that she feels betrayed, it is yours. It is not her fault that certain things remind her of things you did, it is yours.

It will take a lot of effort on your end. Sure, the majority of the decision to forgive will be between her and the Lord, but you can do so much to help facilitate that. Know ahead of time that it’s going to take a long time. This August will be 2 years since my sin was discovered and there are still moments that it surfaces with my wife. There’s not an instant fix, you have to fight for it. It takes a lot of courage for your spouse to stay and to battle through this with you. It takes courage on your end as well to stand and take it. To stand up and face your shame, face the lies you’ve believed and face everything that might be thrown at you as consequence for your actions. So… take courage. Deuteronomy 31:6 says “Be strong. Take courage. Don’t be intimidated. Don’t give them a second thought because God, your God, is striding ahead of you. He’s right there with you. He won’t let you down; he won’t leave you.”
That’s an action word there, take. It requires you to do something, it requires you to take action.

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